I want to scream
But, I know that does no good,
It makes me look like a selfish child
Whom only wants their attention understood.
I love to kiss
However, that is not a one person act.
Besides, I’m not very good with people,
Those that have met me consider that a fact.
I need a hug.
It kind of sucks in a lot of ways.
This simple act of comforting another
Is a curse for me, because specific touch evades.
I’m losing myself
I don’t say this in a depressing way.
It’s an understanding of distance and being
As if to say I no longer acknowledge humanity.
My heart is breaking
And I’m the only one that’s fit to heal it.
I know my ways and my stubborn mind
I know it’s going to be another year or so of torment.
Anyway, I’m here.
Though, I’m not certain what the point is.
Is anybody? I catch a glimpse from time to time.
I get confounded now and then, just to keep employment.
Then, I’m gone.
Back to where I dwell, to stare out at passing traffic.
Until my next adventure reveals itself,
I linger in the companionway, docile and passive.
I’ll write my songs.
I’ll share my short stories, poems, and musings.
I tie them to an idea that’s been on my mind for years.
A magnum opus full of thoughts, concepts, and warnings.
It’s not different.
Though, it’s certainly more than “much the same”.
It all makes sense in my little world.
But, being its only citizen becomes mundane.
I’ll take a breath.
It reminds me that I’m here, in reality.
Where most things don’t make much sense
And it’s the only place to be what we’ll be.
Take all my effort,
It’s derived from a mind that doesn’t adapt anyway.
It’s pulled from broken pieces of used up emotions
Maybe then I’ll get my reasons, maybe then I’ll stay.